No matter the outlook, the weather, my personal comfort, when i close my eyes to pray, at once, i am resting upon the great chest of God, and i wonder at His perspective. i am learning simplest prayers are better than prayers never spoken. i am learning the hardest questions that push the boundaries of belief are better than a pretend belief. So, i will ask Him, even after all these years, all those moments when He came through for me and i thought i would never doubt again, when life becomes heavy, and questions become albatross, and a prayer request chimes the little cell phone with a horror so great, i cannot finish stirring the soup. i will close my eyes to pray. And in between the fumbling, i will ask Him, "You are real, aren't You? They call You a myth." And then i forget the doubt, because His answer is always about something else. . .a part of the picture i cannot see, a dot i cannot connect, a voice indistinct, but still. . .a Voice.
"I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God- it changes me."
~C. S. Lewis
"Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
~again, Mr. Lewis