Fifteen months of silence, and then out of nowhere, like the snow, I arrive?
Are you still listening, my friend?
Did you give up expectation that I would return?
Have you forgotten me?
I will tell you where I have gone while it was silent here at Thoughtful Spot.
If you look back over the years represented in these posts, surely you will notice I went from trembling mouse to someone who was ready to fight back?
And that’s where I was.
I went off to war, to reclaim lost ground.
And I am back.
Full circle. Seeking the measure and quiet of those early years here at Thoughtful Spot.
But we are never out of the war, are we? Only the battle lines change.
And it’s never, ever a full circle, is it?
More like, coming around again on a spiral staircase.
Like climbing the Hatteras Light house, round and around you go, but each cork-screw brings you a level higher, the view from the east-pointing widows a little more elevated.
I sense a new season approaching, and I am laying up wood for the winter in these thoughtful spaces. Regret, repentance, acceptance, revelation, thanksgiving, hope--light and warmth for these winter days to repair the broken places.
I wrote my first post six years ago, and whether or not you were with me when I began, we have changed in the last six years, haven’t we? Widowed. Divorced. Orphaned. Exalted. Praised. Betrayed. Befriended. Rejected. Hospitalized. Medicated. Broken. Healed. But all of us. . .ugh. . .Older. In some way, do you see your struggle as a battle you have fought before? Maybe not the exact same circumstances, but perhaps facing some of the same old enemies?
The battle I was fighting was one I had fought before. It was not against people but against principalities. . .deep, dark, frozen tundra within. I see you notice that the armor is dented, the plume singed, but did you, also, notice, this smoke-stained, slightly worn face is at peace?
Listen. Maybe, you are still in your exile. Maybe you sense it coming.
But those of us who have gone before, we speak as one with authority, passed down from those before us.
Wiser. Stronger. More resilient. More determined. More Persevering.
"You [enemy of our souls] intended to harm us,
but God intended it for our good
to accomplish what is now being done."