Learning to count the days. . .in the small things.
(writer's update: this post was re-written in the small hours of Saturday morning.)
“I will cast my cares on you.
You're the anchor of my hope.
The only one who's in control.
You see the future no one knows yet,
and you're still good when I can't see the working of your hands.’
~ Finding Favour. “Cast My Cares.” 2015.
I was late.
Not really late-late, but later than I wanted to be.
Whipping up route 10, shoulders up to my ears, teeth clenched, steering wheel in a white-knuckled death grip, and an attitude of “I just dare you to try and pull in between me and the vehicle in front of me,” I had a sudden and apocryphal revelation.
God doesn’t want me to be tense. He doesn’t want my shoulders up to my ears, my teeth grinding, or my heart pounding. He knows I had been prepared and on time, but the unexpected happened and I had lost maybe fifteen minutes, and we still had time to be on time. So, I started to unlock all my muscles, and to relax as far as humanly possible while driving. Peace, I told myself.
And I knew with a certainty that this was not real peace. This was faking it. The slightly angelic expression on my face probably looked more like a grimacing, gargoyle.
And then I knew what was missing. Truth. Truth was missing. And there was only one way to get Truth, and that was to recall what the Bible said about a situation. Anything else is assumption or convenient declaration, alternative truths to borrow a current phrase. So I began fact-checking.
The tap was a little dry at first turn; the verses came slowly, but each one was clear and shining drops of Truth. . .
My times are in your hands. ~Psalm 31:15
You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. ~ Psalm 139:5
. . .and then the drip, drip, drip became a full flood of verses.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. ~Proverbs 16:9
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. . .
Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
“The LORD your God is with you. . .He will take great delight in you. . .and rejoice over you with singing.”
As I began to pray the verses out loud, real peace came, and to my surprise, they turned to ones that promise His love. The lesson here was not about time, but about love. It's always about love. Somehow I had unearthed the truth that sometimes we equate a lack of perfection with losing someone’s love, with being unlovable, with shame.
The song playing on the radio rose into my consciousness and receded, leaving these words. . .
You're the anchor of my hope. . .
If our hearts are anchored to a lie, the lie will not be fixed, and our emotions will spin like a rudderless ship in heavy seas. If we pull the chain in and recast the anchor onto Truth - the One who is True and His Word - real peace will come.
Every single one of the ten stoplights between me and my destination were green, and I made record time.
Friend, may I gently ask, where is that landfill of regrets in your past? What grenades of self-loathing are you still detonating one at a time, daily, almost regularly in your thoughts about yourself? What area have you cordoned off with barbed wire and hung out a banner over yourself, "loser" ?
Stop. Stop. Your anchor is not true. Press into His Word, do a little fact checking because the enemy of your soul wishes you to run aground.
Our times, Beloved, are in His hands. The Truth of it is in His Word. And all things, ALL things will work out. . .
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. . .”
~ Hebrews 6:19
"I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life" ~ Jesus, John 14:6